When I haven’t been working on schoolwork, I’ve been knee-deep in job searching. So much of it is talking with yourself to figure out what you’re looking for, and that answer is constantly changing. A few weeks ago I decided that under no circumstance would I seek a job in Delaware. I want to move. It’s non-negotiable. So with my sights laser-focused solely on the Bay Area of San Francisco, I had to begin expanding my view of what I want to do and where, exactly, I’d like to do it. It had to be more than just Apple.

I did a fun trick once where you ask yourself what job you want to do if money was irrelevant and you could do whatever you wanted. It’s very hard to do by yourself because you have to be completely spontaneous with the answer. You can’t over-think it because it has to come from your “gut” to be the right answer. I played this game at a time when I strongly wanted to peruse a marketing position. The answer that came back was IT Support. The answer shouldn’t have surprised me, because it’s what I do now and I truly enjoy it, but I really wanted to diversify. I wanted to do something different for the sake of doing it. I still want to do marketing someday, but I now believe it would manifest itself more as technical marketing, and I need to build up my skills before I move in that direction.

I can’t tell you how important it is to be able to talk honestly with yourself. I know it sounds schizophrenic, but it’s horrible how often we lie to ourselves about things. The lies are self-perpetuating to allow us to stay happy in the situations we’ve placed ourselves in, burying the truth ever deeper. And if you don’t start digging for the truth, you end up down a path that ends in a breakdown: A complete loss of mental faculty because you just realized you’ve been living a lie. That’s probably an overly-dramatic description, but I hope you see the point.

So what I’ve ended up doing a lot of lately is double-checking the decisions I’m making. I keep challenging my goals and aspirations to make sure they’re true, and use that to guide my job applications and research. Through this exercise of self-awareness, I’ve stumbled upon a job I’m perfect for, in a location I wasn’t looking at, for a small college I’ve never heard of. But secure in the knowledge that the job was made for me, and the relative proximity to my original Bay Area dreams, I’m actively pursuing the opportunity. Barring issues with my timetable (I can’t really move until June) I hope to enter into a dialogue soon with the college and see if we fit together.

There was a time, really just a week ago, where I would have shot down notions I’m now treating as par-for-the-course. The job is in Penngrove, CA which is in Sonoma County - Wine Country. I’ve never been there, but as far as I know the area is uniformly gorgeous and natural. But I know with absolute certainty that it’s the right job. When you are certain that you’re finally doing the right thing, you gain a powerful ally - yourself. And when you can be your own best proponent, you’re far better equipped to deal with the rigors of job-seeking. Yes, I’d have to relocate myself. Yes, I’d have to find housing in a place I’ve never really seen before. Yes, it would be a lot of work and weeks of adjustment and rearrangement. But it’s the right job. It has to be done.